


At the End of All Things

by liggytheauthoress



Category: Lost
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, F/M, Queerplatonic relationship, implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:56:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liggytheauthoress/pseuds/liggytheauthoress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"They knew their luck would have to run out sometime."</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the End of All Things

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: major Harper's Island spoilers.

It's been one year, one month, and three days since the outbreak hit. They've fared better than most, survived longer than most. They've seen all of their friends die slow, lingering deaths or get torn apart by walkers, but the two of them are still here.

They knew their luck would have to run out sometime.

Sayid looks out the window again, as if he's idly hoping the horde of walkers surrounding the cottage will be gone. It's not.

They have maybe an hour before the last of their defenses is broken through. Kate is crouched in the corner, hugging her arms to her chest and staring at an old bloodstain on the floor. As Sayid turns away from the window, she looks up and meets his gaze, and he knows that she knows.

She knows as well as he does that there's no getting out this time. No plan to get away at the last second, no improvised weapon that will give them the edge. This is it.

This is the end.

He slides down the wall to sit beside her and wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him. "Maybe they'll get tired of waiting and leave," he says, knowing neither of them believes a word of it.

Kate huffs a laugh and leans her head against his. "Yeah. And maybe Will Smith will walk through that door with a cure and a snappy one-liner, and we'll all live happily ever after."

Sayid can't help smiling. The smile only lasts a moment, though. There's a decision to be made here, one he'd hoped they'd never have to make, and as much as he wants to put it off just a little longer, let them both cling to the idea of escape just a little longer, there's just no time. "Kate..."

"I know." She turns to look at him sadly. "Between a rock and a fucking hard place, right?"

He sighs and cards his fingers through her matted curls. "I wish...I wish it didn't have to end like this."

"Oh I don't know. It could have been worse." Kate tangles her legs with his. "At least neither of us is alone."

"That is true." Sayid looks down at the gun in his hand. Two bullets left. Just two. Not enough to fight off an army of walkers, but enough to do what needs to be done.

Kate follows his gaze and swallows. The corners of her lips turn upwards in a pathetic attempt at a smile, and her voice wavers when she says, "Ladies first?"

He knows what she's asking.  _I don't think I can kill you, so please, let me go first?_ And he knows he can't refuse her. It's her fucking dying wish (and even if it wasn't, he's never been able to say no to her anyway). He can be the strong one this one last time. He can.

No matter how much the idea makes his insides feel like they're being torn apart.

"Just...give me a few minutes?"

Kate nods, nestling her head in the crook of his neck. He closes his eyes and lets the sound of her breathing become the only thing in his world, savors it, because very soon it won't be there anymore. The thought of Kate not being there, not being his shadow, his other half, is enough to make tears form in his eyes, and he squeezes his lids tightly to make them go away. Strong, he had to be the strong one. Just for a little while longer.

"So." Kate's voice breaks the silence. "I suppose this is where we talk about our regrets and stuff. What we'd do differently, that sort've thing."

"And what are your regrets?" He opens his eyes to look at her.

She worries her lower lip, thinking. "Not telling Ana Lucia how much I loved her before she...y'know. Turned. If I could change anything, it'd be that." She curls in on herself a little, and Sayid presses a kiss to her temple. "What about you?"

"Harper's Island."

Kate quirks an eyebrow. "Harper's Island?"

"I never finished it. I still don't know who the killer was."

She chuckles again, and this time he smiles a genuine smile, because he's still able to make her laugh, even now. And that's enough, really. Hearing Kate laugh, being able to spend his last few moments with her.

"Henry."

"What?"

"It was Henry. Harper's Island."

"Seriously?"

"Mm-hmm. Him and Wakefield."

"...Interesting."

They're both stalling at this point and Sayid knows it. He can see in her face that Kate does too, the way she's set her jaw and is forcing herself to keep her breathing steady. He nudges her head with his nose and says softly, "Let me know when you're...Let me know when you want me to."

"Just need a couple more seconds." She keeps swallowing, and there are tears in her eyes that she's not even bothering to blink away. "After all this time, you'd think...you'd think it'd be easy."

"I know."

He doesn't say what's on his mind - that this is going to be harder for him than it is for her, because she won't have to watch him die - but she senses it anyway. "If you want-"

"I'll be all right." Sayid gives her what he hopes is a reassuring look.

Kate leans over and presses her forehead against his. "I'm so glad I'm with you," she says quietly.

"So am I." He kisses her cheek. "You've been the dearest friend I've ever known, Kate Austen."

Kate smiles. "You too." She inhales deeply, then says, "Okay, I'm...Okay."

Sayid nods solemnly and raises the hand holding the gun, lightly pressing the barrel against Kate's temple. She looks at him with wide, trusting eyes. "You'll be right behind me?"

"Always."

"I love you."

Sayid smiles. "And I you."

Kate takes the hand not holding the gun in both of hers and squeezes.

And Sayid pulls the trigger.

The sound should be deafening, but it isn't. It's low and distant, like he's hearing it from underwater. Sayid watches as Kate's head jerks to the side and her eyes roll back, and he feels her grip on his hand tighten almost imperceptibly for just a moment before going slack as she slumps against the wall.

This time Sayid doesn't care if the tears come or not (and they do). He shuts his eyes, letting himself be weak and scared for just a moment, because there's no longer a reason to keep of the façade of strength. His hand is still in Kate's, and he keeps it there, a connection to what's now gone.

It's the feeling of Kate's still-warm skin against his that gives him the courage and the strength to fire the second bullet.

 


End file.
